I am a: Quirky sysadmin. Geek. Gamer. Comic fangirl. My little space, my home on the interwebs. I blog about personal stuffs, work, various coding projects, and anything else I feel like.

Last night Hobie passed away. I had been expecting it, but no matter how long I’ve mourned, I still wasn’t emotionally ready. She started going downhill after losing her sight just before Christmas. New Year’s Day I had noted that she was really skinny and wasn’t eating all of her food — she’d still had a hearty appetite prior to then. The next day I didn’t see her eat or drink all day … and her meow was “funny”. She sounded weak and pitiful. Every time she cried, I cried. She was quiet if I held her, so I held her for most of the time, or had her laying near enough to me that she could hear or sense me.

I wonder if maybe she knew what was coming and didn’t want to be alone?

Our new vet saw her on the 3rd and told me she had a bad infection in her sinuses that had appeared to spread. She ran tests and said that her organs appeared to be fine otherwise, and gave me some antibiotics. The hard task was getting Hobie to eat. I had to force feed her, and she still continued to get weaker and thinner. Despite trying my damnedest to save her, by this past weekend she was beyond emaciated. I knew it wouldn’t be long. It was late last night when she had passed on. She was lying curled as she was when sleeping, so I think she went in her sleep.

I had prayed that God take her in her sleep and not to let her suffer long.

I’ve cried almost every day for the last week. I’ve cried all of last night and this morning. Without her, this house is so quiet and lonely. By habit, I found myself listening for her pitter-patter tiptoeing across the kitchen floor or down the hall. She was just two months shy of her 19th birthday. I’ve had her since I was 13. I’m going to miss her so much.

This is one of the last pictures I had taken of her when she was “well” (or well enough). This was back in October, Jessie and I were getting ready to leave for an Alabama game. I don’t know what happened, but the file was messed up on the disk and I was never able to recover a whole image. Regardless, I have hung on to this picture because it is a shot I had been trying to capture for years. Hobie would often sit and stick her tongue out at you … I never figured out why, but it was so damned cute and anytime I grabbed a camera, she would stop and put a “normal” face back on. I snagged this one purely by accident.

For over half of my life, Hobie was my companion, my comforter, my friend. As soon as it’s warm enough, she’ll be buried in one of her favorite spots in the backyard.

Goodbye, fuzzybutt. I love you and miss you, and hope to see you again.